Southun Gurls
I received this humorous email and thought I would share it. 
 

      Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful

      kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless

      her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put

      his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a six

      lane highway." Or, "Bless  her heart, she's so bucktoothed, she could

      eat an apple through a picket fence.." There are also the sneakier

      ones: "You know, it's amazing that even though she had that baby 7

      months after they were married, bless her heart, it weighed 10

      pounds."

 

         As long as the heart is sufficiently blessed, the insult can't be

      all that bad.  I was thinking about this the other day when a friend

      was telling about her new Transplanted Northern friend who was upset

      because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern

      accent.  My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do

      a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about

      this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to the South a couple

      of years ago.  Can you believe it?" said her friend.  "A child of

      mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiike thiiiissss.."

 

      Now, don't get me wrong,  Some of my dearest friends are from the

      North, bless their hearts.  I welcome their perspective, their

      friendships and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food.

      I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find

      good bread down here.

 

      And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

 

      We've already lost too much.  I was raised to say "Well I swanee,"

      and never swear, But you hardly ever hear anyone say that anymore, I

      swanee you don't.

 

         And I've caught myself thinking twice before saying something is

      "right much," "right close," or "right good" because non-natives

      think this is right funny indeed.  I have a friend from Bawston who

      thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to

      the doctor or "cut off" the light.  She also gets a giggle every time

      I am "fixin'" to do something and, bless their hearts, they don't

      even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

 

      My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she can't

      help being ugly, but she could've stayed home."

 

       Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:

         1.  Drinking straight out of a can.

         2.  Not sending thank you notes.

         3.  Velvet after February.

         4. White shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.

 

      Southern girls always say:

      1.  "Yes, ma'am."

      2.  "Yes, sir."

 

         Southern girls have a distinct way with fond  expressions:

         1.  "Y'all come back!  now ya heaah,"

         2.  "Well, bless your heart."

         3.  "Drop by when you can.

         4.  "How's your mama?"

         5.  "Love your hair."

 

         Southern girls know their three R's:

      1.  Rich

      2.  Richer

      3.  Richest

 

      Southern girls know everybody's first name:

      1.  Honey

      2.  Darlin'

      3.  Sugah

 

         Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:

         1.  "Gone With the Wind"

         2.  "Fried Green Tomatoes"

         3.  "Driving Miss Daisy"

         4.  "Steel Magnolias"

 

         Southern girls know their cities:

         1.  Hotlanta or Adlanna =Atlanta as outsiders say)

         2.  Richmon, in Virginia

         3.  Challston in South Carelina

         4.  S'vannah in Gawga

         5.  Birminham in Albama

         6.  Nawlins'

         7.  OH,!  And that otha city in Alabama?  It's pronounced

      MUNTGUMRY!

 

         Southern girls know the three deadly sins:

         1.  Bad hair

         2.  Bad manners

         3.  Bad blind dates

 

      Now you run along, Sugah, and send this to someone else Raised In The

      South, i.e., Southern Belles, or ANY females aspiring to be GRITS

      (Girls Raised In The

      South!) Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Lil Ole Hearts".

 

      That Reminds me - I have a rubber stamp that says "Just because your

      Children were born in the South does not make them Southerners.

      After all, if a cat had kittens in the oven, that wouldn't make them

      biscuits."

 

          Bless Yer Hearts. YAll